The bliss of forgetting or Fuhgeddaboudit!

Today I woke up comforted and, at first, had only that good, safe, content feeling. I asked myself where it came from and remembered: Mama, who died 864 days ago (if I trust my math), visited my dreams. It was a good visit, a great one, in fact. She was laughing a big free laugh […]


Yesterday a good friend took Micah and Lysle to the park. They were gone for a few hours and eventually stepped back into the long hallway of our apartment bringing a flurry of excitement. Lysle was gingerly carrying something in his hands. With a big smile he lifted the upper hand and revealed it to […]

On examining deaths, stealing souls & creating ghosts

Today five years ago, Michael Jackson had made his transition from a living man to a dead man. He’d died. He’d passed. He’d finished his business on earth. He’d not finished seeing his children into adulthood. If he was aware of dying, I’m quite sure leaving them hurt him the most. Business was enough of […]

Words don’t fail me now!

What do you do — with a kangaroo? No, not with a kangaroo — though we’ve loved that story of accommodating trespassing beasts. My real question is: What do you do with your intense need to talk to someone who is no longer around? In the early days after Mama’s death I used to do […]

Brother’s Day

A week ago Micah and I flew to London. The occasion was the premiere of a choral piece my brother had composed. It was commissioned to be about the four seasons, and my brother wrote it in the year after our mother’s death, which was also the second year of his son’s life. What better […]

Rat Poop Sunday (not for rodent-o-phobes!)

That’s how Lysle summed up the day as I kissed him good-night. Please think of rats such as these as you read the following. “Yes,” I agreed with a sigh, “rat poop Sunday! Sorry we couldn’t do anything more fun.” Artie and I had spent much of the day clearing out our basement storage area […]

The making of birds

Two years since you left on that Friday morning, Mama. But only after I’d opened the window for you. I thought I did it to let in the bird song. I just googled it and, yes, it makes sense: God’s work on Friday was the making of birds.


January 11, 2014 I got it slightly wrong. Micah didn’t want to lose his precious pictures. I promised to tell his teachers we want them back. I was speaking for myself then in the last post. Starting this blog also has a touch of the séance, an invocation of her spirit, and brings that fresh […]